Erase all my feelings

Friendship is totally like Love.

It requires two people to give in & not to take oneself for granted.

If there's only one party that keeps on contributing ,

I can confirm that the friendship won't last long.

& The worst thing is ...

If you only do treasure the frens you like ,

your friendship won't have a happy ending.

Sometimes in life, you will tend to lose even your closed frens.

But what you can do is try to earn them back .

If they didn't give a damn then at least you tried.

I can only say that that friend of yours is STUPID.

Because she/he doesn't know how to cherish a fren like you that cares.

So yup, forget about the friendship & move on.

I trust that you will be even better & stronger without them

 :)

I'm actually in a dilemma now.

I really dunno what should i do.

Forgive for what she did to me?

All those hurtful things she did, HOW POSSIBLE?

Can anyone understand my situation now?

It's easy for ppl to say just forgive ; just ignore.

But how can you when there's hatred in your heart?

It's awful to be hating someone .

But if you dun hate, I'm afraid that the hurt will be back.

I'm afraid of getting hurt so i chose to hate .

Is that wrong to do ?!?!???????????

How i wish i can forget everything ...

As usual, "Easier said than done "

My Proudest Moment

Anyeong everybody, I'm finally back to blogging again.

My sincere apologies for the lack of update.

Had been busy MUGGING for CT2 recently.

Having SS & English exams this week, hmmmmm...

Not confident for my Eng Exams at all x.x

Sad case for me cause i did studied yea.

But well, i take it easy :)

Tomr is MT exams which i had already drop my Chinese.

So yup, tomr IS A FREE DAY FOR ME (Y)

Going to R.P to study with Jia tomr <3

Hope that it would be a fruitful trip there (:

Will take some pics for you to see how it is like in there.

So stay tuned alright (:

Recently, hadn't been blogging much .

( A confession to make : Not much photos TOO! )

Hehehs, anyway i really hate my freaking phone.

Changing in JULY so yup still need to endure for 3 months -.-

I swear i'm going to get a new phone no matter how much it will cost.

Or else it's wasted like my current phone.

Which i spent $200 for just less than a year & now it's like shit.

I rather buy a phone that cost more but can last longer (:

Alrighty, enough of my nonsense.

Here's the pics taken @ HTA for a NPCC honorable event.

FYI - I'm taking a award called SPF badge .

Ever heard of it? If never, learn about it now
!

 Spot me?~~?~?

 <3 this the most ^^

This WILL NOT happened

HELLO everybody, you guys might be wondering why my pic is so big.

ACTUALLY i also dunno why -.

Tried editing this pic UMPTEEN TIMES but it's still like that.

So i gave up... HAHA

Okayy well, today i'm a good girl.

Stayed at home to MUG FOR CT2!!!

Still wondering why it is not MYE for us >:(

But well, CT2 is coming real fast!

Next wed,it's my ENGLISH exam already.

Haishh, haven't start preparing yet..

English Oral just ended, think it's alright for me.

Dun fail can ler x.x

Can't wait for CT2 to be over (Y)

Last Saturday , went to J.P with Yihan.

It's been quite a long time since i last went there.

Actually was supposed to buy swimming costume but ...

Still cant find my desired one .

Haishh, shall wait for nice ones bah ):

Instead, Yihan bought a lot of things, HAHA.

Shopping queen <3

Cam-whoring time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My eyes difference x.x

Wanna show off my double eyelids, HAHA

Retarded pout face

Like this though

So cute !!

Hahha , my eyes is sooooooooooooooooo

Hamster YIHAN!

My turn for BIG EYES already ^^

My unglamn face.




Really had a lot of fun with this lady here <3

Bye bye~~

I did my best as much as i could

Hello readers, I'm FINALLY BACK.

Sorry for the MIA-ING without notice for almost 1 week.

Had been busy with my grandpa's wake.

Last Sunday, my grandpa was pronounced death in the hospital.

His death is really unexpected and sudden.

I couldn't believe & accept it.

One moment he seemed to be fine & the next he is dead.

I watched him dying after catching his last breath.

The experience is really saddening & unforgettable.

I really don't want my grandpa to die & leave us.

But he have to ; in order to end his suffering.

So we should set him free, let him go to a better place & enjoy.

At least we can get to see him for the last or else

I think i will be guilty like mad -.-

But one thing is really bothering me for the whole week.

Which is R.E.G.R.E.T.S!!!!!!!!!

By saying the truth, i promised my grandpa that

I will fold 1000 cranes for him to wish him good health.

But i didn't get a chance to fold 1000 & he died.

If i had worked hard to fold until 1000, he might not died.

So i regretted to the max & hated myself.

Why didn't i work harder?

Why am i complacent?

If only i worked harder, so maybe my grandpa will live?

Okayy but all these doesn't matter anymore.

He is dead already.

No matter what you do, he cannot be alive anymore.

REALLY THANKS TO MY AUNT who made me feel better.

As i've only folded 500 cranes for my grandpa which i felt guilty too,

I need to fold 500 more within 49 days.

This goal is definitely reachable cause actually i spent

4 days folding more than 300 cranes...

& The last of the funeral , i didn't sleep at all.

(Not to show off how good i am )

But i really did my best to accompany my grandpa for the last.

I kept talking to him , telling him my thoughts.

Though idk he can hear me anot but at least he knew MY THOUGHTS.

So yupp, after all these thinking ,

I'm finally fine again.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

I want to THANK all my frens that gave me care/support/concern

these few days.

All those wishes really make me stonger (:

Not only that i also want to SPECIAL thanks :

Yijia, Sophia, Wei Jian, Zheng Hui, Nicole, Ayaka, Jeremy, Glenn...

For helping me fold the cranes ...

Without them , i swear i can't make it to 500 cranes within 1 week.

(FYI- before my grandpa died, i've only fold 200 cranes)

So yup, i'm deeply touched when they offered to help me (:

Lastly,

I've sorted out my thinkings.

I knew that my grandpa will definitely be better in the heaven.

So yup, as his granddaughter, i really wish him all the best.

I promised that i will be strong !!!

&&&

Though he had already passed away, he will stay in my heart forever.

He's my best 阿公 EVER!!!

The 500 cranes that my sisters & i made for him.

After 49 days, the amount will be doubled.

& My promise will be kept (:

Gratified

ANYEONG everybody!!!

FYI- This is my NPCC full uniform ...

Hmm nice right?! Hah, here to show off my badges~~

It will be my last time wearing it so ya ;

Must cam-whore a bit so as to save for memories.

Npcc really teached me a lot of things &

There's always this phrase called :

"One for all ; All for one "

Still rememebered the times when i'm in sec 1 with my squad mates.

Time really passed quickly without waiting for anyone.

It seemed like it only happened ytd but actually it's 4 years ago.

So yuppp, i really do miss my squad mates though...

&&& I've finally learnt how to POLISH MY BOOTS ; LOL.

From a person that hated npcc ;

To a slacker that knows nothing but misbehave ;

To a person who starts to buck up & try to learn everything .

This is how my life is when i'm in npcc.

ANYWAY ; got this SPF badge on wed.

I'm really honored to get this badge (:

I will always remember my CI's that gave me this chance.

Though i never get to thank them personally,

I'm really grateful (:

Smiling happily @ the LAST npcc training.

(:

Though there are happy/sad moments in npcc,

the memories are all etched eternally in my heart (:

Overcome my fear

Today is my LAST NP training (Y)(Y)(Y)(Y)(Y)

Finally , my loneliness agony is over!!!!

Though i'm not always enthu in np trainings,

my np clique made them enjoyable & fun .

But this year is definitely different...

I feel so damn lonely & aimless during those trainings.

I'm just like an useless person roaming around nothing to do.

So yup, I HOPE/ PRAY/ WISH that i can stand down ASAP.

F.I.N.A.L.L.Y finally, my wish came true.

I CAN BE FREE DURING EVERY THURSDAY already (:

& Today , i kind of take my very first step.

I walked home alone after np training.

To others, it mean nothing to you guys.

But i dare to say that this is a BIG achievement for me.

Especially when you alone need to pass by the crowd of other uni groups.

Ever since i'm sec 1, i'm always in my comfort zone.

When i need company, my frens are there.

But now , it's different ; I'm alone without them.

So yup, i need to TRY & step out using my own will.

(FYI : i'm always afraid what ppl think of me like 'lonely emo kid')

I'm proud that i can overcome my fear of loneliness.

One last thing i wan to say is :

" It's perfectly normal to be alone & you're brave to be like one "

My 1000th post!

ANYEONG peeps, I'm back yea :D

Got quite a lot of HAPPY things to tell you all~

So yup, I'm feeling very happy now (Y)

• First : This is my 1000th post OKIEEE!

I'm so proud of myself ; really.

It's like a miracle that i have come so far .

I've started blogging since i'm in secondary 1.

Until now, i'm still blogging .

Imagine my childrens saw my blogg ?!?!?! WTS man.

• Second : We had our class photo taken !!!

Good thing is I get to stand @ the 2nd row!

Omggg, so freaking happy man <3

& I get to stand with my Best Friend 'Sophia ; haha.

Hope the class photos turned out well , (Y)

• Third : I'm getting SPF badge award tomr

Damn shiok man, getting the award is my honour.

I'm really lucky to be chosen in getting this award.

(Though i dun think that i deserve it )

• Fourth : My last CCA TRAINING! (totally shiok )

Means i can stop gg for cca on every thursday!

Really (Y) ; i've been waiting for this moment for 5 years x.x

Though i will miss my sec 1s but yup , I STILL WANT IT.

• Last: For just this week, WE ARE FREE DURING EL periods!!

Omgg, totally awesome YEA!!! The period is the one i hated most.

So yup , not having it is like TEN TIMES SHIOK :D

Last but not least,

To make my post more enriching & fulfilling,

Pictures will cover the rest so yup enjoy~~~

Class photo! SPOT ME?!!?!

Class Girls with Geek Specs~~~

Okayy this GIRL in this photo is SUPER DUPER SWEET.

She is my best primary sch fren & till now it is too!!

Her name is Eunice mok ^^

Yuppp, she knitted this pencil case for me PERSONALLY.

Omggg, do you know how long it is to knit this?!?!

This pencil case is priceless & freaking VALUABLE.

Love it to the max big thanks to EUNICE.

& It's PURPLE-ISH!!! ^^

:D

Lifetime experience

HELLO peeps, I'm finally back...

Todayyyy is not a good day for me.

Haish, had a big quarrel with my 2nd sister ):

So ya, spent the whole afternoon with teary eyes.

Actually by saying the truth, i tot of suicidal thoughts.

This is really my first time experiencing this.

At that point of time, i don't feel like living anymore.

I feel that life is miserable when i need to study.

But if i dun study, then my future will be ruined.

If my future is ruined, i dun wan to live anymore.

So yup, i just feel that living is so freaking tiring.

I just kept on climbing climbing climbing up to the roof top.

Had the sudden thought of jumping : 一了百了

Guess what happened next ?

Of course i'm not dead or else who's the one blogging?

I suddenly think of what i've counselled my fren about suicide.

I suddenly think of my family member , how they treated me.

I suddenly think of what my mum will do when i'm dead.

So yup, in the end i gave up the suicide thoughts.

I felt so immature of wanting to die just because of a small thing.

Just because of what someone said, i got so emotional.

I felt like i'm the useless person ever in the world.

I wanted to die, FOR FUCK?!

This is my life .

I should control it ; i should't ruined it.

I'm born blissfully with a proper body; proper family & stuffs.

I'm actually very lucky to be like this.

I shouldn't give up my life when i'm just 17.

There are still many things i hadn't complete.

Wasting my life is definitely not worth it ok.

You know why i'm not at least embarrassed to tell you guys?

Cause i dun wan you all to follow into my footsteps.

Last advice:

Be brave, stand up using your own will & move on.

Lead a fulfilling life .

只有懂得放开的人才会开心。

hope i did made an impact on you guys.

Sorry for the horrible english yea.

Goodbye~

Stay tuned to my post tomr (:

Why can't you just stop caring?

Why do i worry about ppl who doesn't deserve it?

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?!!?!?!?

I tot i've already stopped caring .

Giving all the cold shoulders as much as i can.

Trying not to smile at all when talking to *

Hiding all my thoughts ; trying my best to dislike *

But wts. When smth happened to *, i will still CARE.

Can you give me an explanation why ?

Why do i still care when i shouldn't?

I tried to break everything as much as i can.

But still , i'm back to the same old point.

I didn't change @ all, i'm just pretending .

I'm really trying hard to dislike *

But i just can't , i can't do it.

I can't let go of the hatred towards *

I can't forget all the nasty things * did to me.

I just can't forget everything ...

If i have one more chance, i will rather not know *

That will be so much better for both of us.

Worrying/ Caring like a BIG fool when * don't even care about it.

So yup, once again , I'm stupid enough to fall into it.

COMPLAINS. s

Hi everyone, HAISH SIAN!

Today's an UNLUCKY DAY FOR ME )):

Like seriously, i totally hate today.

So ya, WARNING : This is meant for a complain post.

If you're not interested, jolly well click the X button

1. Mum didn't prepare breakfast so skip breakfast -.-
2. Bad hair day -_____-
3. Forgot to bring a V. important thing to school
4. Got held up by VP ; totally pekcek.
5. Ended up rushing back home to take the * thing.
6. Caught up with the rain, drenched shit.

Haish, felt so S.I.A.N. ttm ; mood totally NO GOOD.

Tomr's public holiday so DUN HAVE school!

But i dun feel like holiday at all CAUSE...

There are like TONS & TONS of homewk there -.-

Seriously fuck it man, what's the point of having a holiday?

When we can't even enjoy it at all ?!?!!?!?

Goshhh, totally sian to the max.

My teachers give the homework like free like that -___-

I know it's for our own interest but ...

I just want to complain lahh; let me be ...

Okayyy done already.

Bye~~

In a state of confusion

Continued post of Sunday's OUTING!!!

Omgg, i really deserved to die x.x

Forgot that it's 清明节!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So yup, need to go to visit my ancestors tomb (:

Hmm since it's a weekend, went to King Albert's Park with families.

As my sis& dad are busy, so left with 3 of us.

Me, 2nd sis & mum yea ^^

Was hungry ttm so went mac for lunch.

It's really crowded @ there & the queue was like wow.

Actually at first i tot that the centre was like so wulu wulu~~

In the end it's filled with young people, GOSH ^^

After our lunch, we went to "ISLAND CREAMERY"!

Ever heard about this name before?

Hmm that's my first time there though.

As usual, My 2nd sis's reco (she really know a lot of good stuff)

Order 2 cakes to eat cause IT'S EXPENSIVE.

Yupp, took our time to cam-whore there.

Needless to say , had an awesome time with Sis & Mum :D

Here's the inner view of the shop.

Cool beans yea?!

Okiie done with blogging...

PICTURES TIME OKIEE && Do enjoy (:

This is damn nice, i swear.

Hmm, this is too sweet though x.x

Do we look alike?~

3 of us ^^

Mum & I!!! <3

Lastly, my own solo photo.

Hah, don't mind ah~

Bye!!!

做人要看开一点， 才会开心！！！ ^-^

ANYEONG peeps, I'm back yea~

So long never blog already, OPS!!!

Had been rather busy recently, hehes.

I remembered my last update is last friday?!!?!

Omggg, really sorry for the lack of update ya!!

Will try to update more often okie (:

Ytd's APRIL'S FOOL DAY!!!

It's a pity that April Fool falls on a weekend ya.

Hmm ,didn't get a chance to play prank on my classmates >:(

But well, next year will right? :/

Well, ytd was a FAMILY DAY FOR ME (Y)

Went to bukit timah there to pray for my ancestors.

So many ppl @ the temple, pek cek x.x

Really hate the smoke and the 香 , sian ttm.

Next year, I WANT TO WEAR SUNGLASSES THERE!!!

&I'm sure i will not wear black anymore -.-

Ytd's like so freaking hot right?!?!

Okiie, will update you more about what happened ytd.

Tomr will update you with PICTURES TOO ^^

Stay tuned to my next post alright (:

Do we look alike? haha