Monday, July 28, 2014

Who knows

Hello, I'm finally back for proper update.
Yeaa, i realised I've written 3 consecutive EMO-NEMO posts in a row.
And it's time to stop..

"Life goes on when it ain’t so sweet don’t give up on it, get back on your feet."

I'm left with only 15 days to mug for my final exams, OMGG.
And i totally have no sense of urgency.
Haha i guess my motivation of mugging is no longer the same.
Despite studying like a mad dog for last sem, the results i got were disappointing.
Wanted so badly to get into D's list, ended up it backfired.
So yea, my current aim is to retain my G.P.A
Certainly, that's good enough.
The higher you aim/expect, the greater you fall
So note to self : Don't be a fool
Okay, since all of my previous posts were so WORDY, i shall make this post
The pictures will do the talking ya ^^ 

With my BESTEST friends ; Sophia & Yijia!

Some overdue pics with my best pal- Alexandria :D
Thanks for being such a great listener and you're awesome ^-^


Sorry to interrupt with a retarded face of mine. :D #just #for #laugh


With my longest BFF , Yihan ((:

An awesome catch-up session with my dear Jia Yun ^^ 

Ultimately, my year 1 clique is da best ^^
So blessed that i still have them in my life! 

With my squash clique :]


 My another part of me- with these 3 bitches (:

Tata (: 

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Bitter Sweet Love

Love can be sweet,
But it can be fatal too.

Having 4 mths as my longest relationship, 
Yes; you wouldn't believe that i would have fallen in love.
But i did.
The period when i'm in love is i felt like i'm in seventh heaven.
And when it's over, i felt like I've entered nowhere but hell.
I believe you've heard everything about what I've gone through (if you're a loyal reader)
So i'm not gonna repeat my old history.

Why am i here to talk about this again? 
(FYI- I'm over my ex hahaha in case ppl thought i'm not) 

To be honest, ever since i came to poly; I told myself that
"I'm gonna find a boyfriend who must be way better than my ex"
So you can call me desperate or what, i really wanted to find one.
Part of me was because i want to show that i could, another culprit was emptiness.
And if you know "lao tian" well enough, you should know
"When you desire, you can't have it. When you don't, you have it"
As much as i want to find a partner so badly, i couldn't.
Because my thinking is just so wrong and immature.
Love don't work this way as it always appear when you least expected. 
So what for, try so hard to find your true love? 

Before i proclaim that i really like anyone, I've to make sure that i know him well.
Falling for his outer appearance or anything, no it don't work for me anymore.
Right now, most importantly, is a heart which i can connect with. Nothing else. 

In order not to let history repeats itself,
I'm going to be patient and wait till i find the right one.
No point accepting the wrong ones, ended up with more heartbreaks.
It's already unbearable that my heart broke once.
Even though it's fixed now, there are still scratches.
It's no longer the same flawless heart..
In fact, i'm kinda afraid of falling in love.
It's not easy especially people like me to be able to open my heart again.

"If it's meant to be yours, it will be"

Lesson learnt :
This is what i feel, whether you believe or not.
Yes, feelings matters the most in a relationship.
Nonetheless, compatibility actually takes up a big role too.
In fact, i honestly feel that it is more important than feelings.
What's the point of liking when you couldn't click with the other half?
Imagine trying to kick start a conv. every single day, wouldn't you be tired someday?
Do you think you can last?
Or should i say, how long will your feelings last?
That's when you will know whether he/she is your right one.

Time will show who is the right one...
Don't expect, don't think, don't yearn.
Just wait .. 

Sunday, July 20, 2014


On the verge of giving everything up
On the verge of not giving a damn to any shit
On the verge of vanishing without a goodbye


Any negative feeling is good enough to describe what i'm feeling.
I really have no idea why i'm just so gloomy.
One of those days when i feel like I've fallen into the bottomless pit.
Refusing to seek for help and rather prefer to stay inside.
Not afraid of the dark, loneliness, sadness but to accept the truth.
Call me a coward cuz i refuse to get back to reality.
My fantasy mind really gotta stop , if not i'm going crazy sooner or later.

Why it is so easy for people to get what they want when they tried their best?
But for me?
No matter how hard i tried, i can never get it.
Capability? I don't have
Intelligence? I don't have it too
Talented? That's totally out of my league

There comes a point when i don't feel like trying anymore.
What's the use of trying so hard when you couldn't get your desired result?
Just forget it.
Forget everything.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Just a fool

This picture totally portrays what i'm feeling rn.
I feel like i'm the stupidest person in the world.
How can i fall for the same old trick over and over again?
Despite countless reminders, i didn't learn my lesson.
"Expecting is my favourite crime and disappointment is always my punishment"
I wish someone could wake the sense out of me.
My mind tells me not to fall for it. But my heart already did.
I felt like i'm a total fool.
Yes, just like a complete fool.

I really don't know what to feel anymore.
So confused.
So frustrated.
So troubled.
Why is it just so difficult for me?
What did i exactly do to deserve this?
Why am i just so pathetic ?


Thursday, July 10, 2014


Hello, it's been awhile since i last blogged.
Oh wait, my awhile refers to a long time ago HAH
Okay so just a short update of what's happening recently.
Ever since this sem starts, i practically have no break.
Yes, I even have to chiong my projects during my 2 weeks break.
You canNOT imagine how many reports I've to complete for this sem.
Report has always been my greatest enemy and it will forever be.
I just hate doing reports. Seriously.
The reason is simply because my English standard fails me.
How frustrating it is to type out what you want to express in a professional way.
Fuck la, am i gonna write reports or stories when i grow up?!
Times like this, i really wish my English is up to standard.
At least, this wouldn't burdened others' workload or downgrade my work.
Ok enough of reports, i just pray hard that next sem wouldn't be like this too.

Which team do you think will be the ultimate winner?!?!????????!????
Actually, I really hope that Brazil could make it into the finals.
Apparently, without Neymar and Silva ; Brazil is like an empty shell.
Sigh, but from the game ytd, I can really see that Brazil members have tried
Even though they didn't win, they are already the winners in my heart ((:
#Brazil #Fan #Forever
Wanted so badly to catch the worldcup finals but i couldn't.
Stuck with 3 ICAs next week, GRR such a turnoff.
As much as i love soccer, i love my results more. hahaha
So obviously, i would choose studies over matches yo (Y)

Recently, i'm kinda active in Student Union despite my hectic schedule.
Basically, i signed up for the sake of free shirts and new friends.
Apparently, all the events required you to pay for the shirts, walao. 
Here are the  pics which portrayed events that I've participated lately (: 
First event- FOOD RACE and I totally had fun being the OGL of Group 3!
Pictures will do the rest since my first part is already flooded with words. 

Taken with my partner OUTDRA haha

Cam-whoring session with my lovely squash peeps ^^ 

Next event, JUST A MILE (1.6km run)
And i completed within 10 minutes, WOOHOOO.
After this event, I find running a major turnoff! 
Haha beats me why for feeling this way ... 

3rd event; Squash Competition and i forgot the name of it.
Hahaha cuz i didn't participate in this competition.
And thank god i didn't.
If not, i would have been thrashed by those hardcore pros *phew*

Last but not least, SQUASH OUTING !!!! ^^
Was rather sad because i had my period and I could only be ashore.
Can you understand the pain from a person who loves the sea? ):
Seeing people jumping into the sea like it was nothing, but i felt something.
The tinge of sadness when i couldn't join in the fun :'( 
Can only blame myself for being suay, what to do man.
Eventually, this outing turned to be awesome so i'm satisfied ^^ 

Bye Sea, i will be back ! ^^