Really ; there are so MUCH problems to handle while living.
Sometimes i rather to die than to live.
Never-ending problems ; all waiting for you to solve.
Everything is decided by fate ; you can't change anything.
If God wants to die @ this age; You must die.
Why can't we choose our own path; our own fate?
Everything has been decided even before you're born.
Aren't you like a prisoner waiting to be sentenced when the time comes?
& All you can do is just accept it "This is life"
As for me ; I want to lead a HAPPY & CAREFREE LIFE.
To me, living sadly is = to a dead person.
But when will i ever be happy for life?
I tried to be happy everyday but my wish did not come true.
Problems come & go whenever there are chances...
- Friendship/ Love/ Family/ Money/ Studies/ Stress/Homework.
ALL SORTS OF PROBLEMS CAN IT BE.
Tired of solving never-ending problems/ troubles.
I just hope one day i can really be free
FROM ALL THESE SHIT.
Now, my grandfather is lying in the hospital due a serious fall.
He is so old already but yet he need to endure these.
& The shitty thing is he need to go for a operation.
HE IS 85 YEARS OLD ALREADY & fuck this.
He is so THIN even thinner than me.
Yet, he need to go through all these.
& Me ; i can only stand by ; doing nothing.
How i wish i can do something to make him feel better.
Seeing him in the ICU ; so weak & can't even speak
Makes me feel so ....
Why is life so unfair??!?!?!?!!
& I swear ICU is really a fucking scary place.
Anytime when the machine makes some sound, it will scare the hell out of you.
You dunno what's going to happen.
You can only sit there ; doing nothing or maybe praying?
I feel so useless that i can't help him.
I'm so HEALTHY , energetic ,strong .
Yet i can't give some to him.
I can only sit back & do nothing.
I don't deserve to be like this .......