Monday, January 27, 2014

Thousand feels happy rn

Hey.

'm here to blog about what's going on with my life.

Hahaha, actually nothing special happens but yea, I've a few things to talk about.

Since i'm in a pretty good mood, rants are not allowed in this zone.

Strictly, just about happy stuffs alright?

Ever since young, I've never cook a proper meal before.

The only food i know how to cook is Maggimee. (pathetic i know)

Due to some confidential reasons, i'm really afraid of fire.

So i couldn't bring myself to step out of the comfort zone.

Not until,

Last wed ;

On Mum's birthday, i broke my 1st record.

've decided to cook dinz for my mum in my entire life.

Thankful that I've my 2nd sister for help.

In fact, she is the main chef and i'm just the disciple so yea.

Well, it didn't started well due to the deep cut i got after using the chopper.

Knives are just so dangerous la, omgggg.

Cried like nobody business cuz it was bleeding way profusely.

I just CANNOT stand the sight of blood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #nojoke

At least, my injury was worthwhile after all.

The proud me managed to master cooking 3 main dishes + rice .

*BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT FOR ME *

PS// don't judge the food by the pictures. HAHAHA

How can i not feel blessed when i have all these gems with me?

Yes, my secret admirer bought all these for me MUAHAHAHA.

Whom i'm referring is my second sister who is finally back from exchange!

Missed her just so dearly when she was away from 6 months ):

You couldn't imagine how lonely i am without her.

I almost died. hahaha kidding~

The good thing is i have no idea of how many years it takes to finish these.

And the problem is ;

How fat i would become after eating everything. My god.

Next, i broke my first record by wearing slippers on the 2nd day of school.
Note : For me, it's a big achievement unlocked.
A pity that it's so bright in colour which i really find it hard to match clothes.
Nevertheless, i really feel so much comfortable in slippers.
So this is the outcome i got for being too at ease.

#Just #for #laugh cuz i'm a joker in real life
(Kinda rhymes ya)

"MODEL WANNABE"
In case that people might misunderstand this as a garden,
IT'S ACTUALLY NANYANG POLYTECHNIC.
That's why they say "pictures are deceiving "
Yea, don't be shocked if you see me in real life ok ;D

Bye!!!!

Friday, January 24, 2014

Over expectations

There are million of questions running through my mind.

And i just couldn't figure out that answer.

Ever tried giving your best but what you got isn't the best?

Jackpot, that's what i am feeling right now.

I really hate it when ...

The amount of effort i put in isn't equivalent to the result i get.

So what's the point of even trying so hard?

I'm just on the verge of giving up everything.

But,

Each time ,

Something holds me back.

Don't ask me what cuz i have no idea too.

And i really dunno wtf is wrong with me.

I just couldn't perform well when i'm facing pressure/ stress.

Fml, why am i so weak ...

Whenever there's a problem, i would run away like a coward.

I wish i have the courage to be like "Come, let's face it"

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, easier said than done.

Gotta change this ultra bad habit of mine

-Constantly OVER- EXPECTING

Cuz i finally realised about one thing :

What comes after expectations will be undoubtedly Disappointments.

Experienced this over and over again but didn't get it

Till now.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Passion VS Obsession

Hey.
Didn't know how dreadful school is when i just realised that
ONLY
One pathetic week of school has passed.
So how was school?
Well, nothing was particularly great except getting my ICA results.
Did way better than last sem so i'm undeniably happy about it.

“If you can't excel with talent, triumph with effort.”

By ; Stephen G. Weinbaum

Couldn't agree any further that this quote is just so damn true.
The amount of effort you put in = one step closer to getting ur desired results.
Now, my sole wish is to work extremely hard and achieves my aim!
Real looking forward to the next long break which is coming in 2 more mths (:
Curious of how will i change whether physically and mentally when the time comes.

PS//

Hmm, just something random to share about.
Recently, i found myself getting more overly attached with Squash.
Really don't know whether it is a good thing or not.
Somehow, i prefer squashing than working now. OMG *jaw drops*
However, i believe every good thing comes with a package called : Consequence
What to do???
Hopefully, Squash will stay as a passion instead of obsession.

...

Alright, I've been postponing this update since ages ago.
And i finally have the time to blog about it, my apologies for taking so long!
So how did i spent my New Year??
Well, i expect a prince charming to ask me out and sadly i'm just #foreveralone
So thankful that my girls were there to celebrate this event with me!
As usual, stayed overnight at Vanna's house (:
With a huge feast accompanying us through the night.
So if i have to pick a word to describe the night ; it would be AWESOME.
Lazy to type out all those mundane things we did; let your imaginations run wild for a second.
Hah just kidding ; PICTURES WILL FILL YOU IN FURTHER!!!!

Sick vanna is just so sick, LOL

Sorry, M18 #lesbians #alert

Looks familiar? :')

The companion of our individual teddy bears~

My constipated face, HAHAHA

Trying to be the "Statue of Liberty"

Bye !!!

Monday, January 13, 2014

Teach me how to be okay

HEY.

Still, couldn't accept how time flies in a blink of an eye.

That's why "happy moments don't last forever"

Honestly, having a common love-hate relationship with School.

How much i detest waking up early just to head for school.

How much i dislike having the mundane cycle everyday.

How much i hate studying.

Nonetheless,

I'm real excited to see my results.

To see whether my hard work actually paid off.

And to give me a break from work.

Cuz work is certainly more dramatic than school.

To sum up how my holiday goes,

It was a short one but memorable indeed.

Other than working like a bull, i really enjoy my life to the fullest.

No joke, it's evident when you know that i spent $700++ within this month.

And, i didn't even STUDY at all. Not kidding.

Simply because i just want to enjoy for now.

Then, chiong like mad only when the exams are near. Sounds great, hah?

I naively thought that...

2014 will be an extremely good year for me since 2013 was like shit.

But looks like i'm wrong.

Fall sick for the beginning week of 2014, wow

WHAT A GOOD START.

And having to make a loss of $36++ while working; too awesome.

Sincerely, i'm still waiting for good things to happen.

Cuz i'm really trying my best to stay optimistic.

Ok anyway, i'm kinda thrilled for this coming week.

To be exact, it's this coming Saturday.

Why?!?!?!?!!!???????

Cuz there will be a mini squash competition coming up.

Yes, and i'm really looking forward to it.

Frankly speaking, i spent quite a bit of my time squashing for the past few weeks.

Not forgetting to mention that, i invested a total of $120 on this ...

Sadly, it's not my favourite colour but i love it .

Then, i realised the importance of one's racket.

Not only you require skills, having a good racket is essential too.

Can never imagine how much it helps you to improve after changing a good one.

That's what it occurred to me.

So yea, don't ever underestimate the good of one's racket.

Since i'm still awake when i'm supposed to wake up at 7 tomr,

I shall take this chance to do a small update on my squash chalet.

Well, little did i expect Squash to be way so happening than my previous ccas.

I mean like having small outings/ gatherings are already good enough so

Guess how much it excited me to attend a chalet instead!

Sadly, it's only a 2D1N so it's quite short for us to bond eventually.

Nevertheless, i really had a great time bonding with my seniors and peers.

Nothing beats staying up all night just to have h2h talks with them.

Alright, shall cut the crap since this post is long enough.

Pictures will help me sum up the rest, alright?

It's a pity that we didn't get to see the sunrise despite waiting for hours freezing in the park!

AHHH, no fate with the sun ):

With Shermaine, my new twin! (:

Walao, a ghost behind me. HAHAH

With the girls (:

Finally, a group photo. HAHA don't try to spot me

K byez!

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Change

Hello guys.
I'm back after surviving from a heavy storm.
Nah, just kidding. My point is I'm fine now.
Hahaha, my policy is "You can only stay sad for max. 1 day"
Yes, no matter how much it affects you,

how can one be upset every single day?!

LOL, i just cannot. Understand why .

If i have to stay upset/sad for more than a day, pls kill me.

(Excluding death matters)

Recently, or more specifically - Last Friday.

Went for a haircut and the result was hazardous.

Stupidly, i went according to the Hairdresser's suggestion

WITHOUT EVEN THINKING.

Yes, wts am i thinking. Simply no idea.

When i saw her snipping my hair off part by part, I'M LIKE

HOLY SHIT, no. This wasn't what i want.

But everything is too late, what's left - Regrets

RETURN

HAIR

!!!!

Hahaha, kk just for laugh. #LAME

Honestly, for a period of time ; I REALLY REGRET TO THE CORE.

Of cutting this weird hairstyle ; afraid of others' reaction/judgement.

As expected, everybody's reaction was like

"OMG, WHAT TRIGGERS YOU TO CUT UNTIL LIKE THIS? "

Perhaps, did you suffer from a heavy blow?

And i am like

Sigh, obviously NO.

I just want a change of hairstyle which turned out to be a wrong choice.

My first selfie of 2014 ; LOL .

So that sums up how my hair looks like at the end.

Yes, i know it's kinda weird...

It took COURAGE for me to post this up ok.

However, as much as i wish that my hair can return back to before,

This new hairstyle is not entirely awful...

Like; for example :

The best thing about this hairstyle is

You can pretend that you're having short hair instead!

So if you're sick of long hair, you can transform to short hair .

And kiss goodbye to frizzy & falling hair, WOOTS (Y)

Ironically, it's not bad afterall!

Except that it's really hard to maintain...

Since it's already like this, there's nothing i can do about it.

The key is to "Stay positive"

Tata!

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Imperfections

Idk where to start from but i know i need to talk about this.
If not, i couldn't sleep.
Or maybe, the other alternative is crying myself to bed.

Frankly speaking,
I really find myself
A
TOTAL
FAILURE
I tried.
I tried really hard.
I tried my utmost best
To stop myself from thinking like that.
But sadly, it's the truth.

Well,
born being an extremely slow-learner,
born from a not well-to-do family,
born having no talents,
born being stupid,
born neither a pretty face nor a good character,
born without any luck,
born not achieving anything that i'm proud of
born being just a loner.

Yes, that's how pathetic i am.
And no, i'm not trying to gain any sympathy.
I'm blogging because this is the only platform for me to express my feelings.
Simply because i have no one to turn to.
I just find it pointless to find someone to talk about this.
Cuz i know what their reply will be .
"Aiya, have faith in yourself. Nobody is good at nothing "
Just trying to make me feel good but they didn't know indirectly, it hurts.
Nobody can understand how i feel.
How many times i was so devastated that i felt like just giving everything up.
How many times i cried over this issue.
How many times i wish i wasn't born

I kept questioning myself every time i screwed up.
Why can't i JUST do a single thing right?
Why can't i despite giving my utmost best?
Work. Love. Studies . Nothing works great.
I tried my best to believe in myself that "I can do it when there's a will"
WHAT A GREAT LIE. Omg, stupid enough to even believe it.
Every single time i tried to convince myself that " i can do it" ;
I screwed up BIG times. For real.
Basically, i just can't do anything right cuz
I JUST CAN'T, NO MATTER HOW FUCKING HARD I TRY.

Without any talent,
Not capable of doing anything right,
Nothing to be proud of ,
Yes, so fucking pathetic.
Cried for countless times because of this .
But not this time, I HAD ENOUGH.
Nothing change even if i cried day & night.
I'm still the failed me whom i despise the most.

There're many things in life ; i can forget/ forgive,
But this , i could not and will not..
Each time i think about this, my heart just sink all the way to the bottom.
And " everything just sucks"
Nobody can save me from this cuz it's my thing.

And now when i think about this,
I realised that i'm actually a very pessimistic/negative person.
I just appeared not like that.
I just tried my best to act like i'm not.
I just kept smiling when sometimes i have no reason to.

Pathetic much.
How i wish...
When someone mocked/critcised me,
I have smth to say " At least, i'm good at ..."
Apparently, there's nothing .

Yes, that's how pathetic my life is
Forever stuck with many flaws.
Forever incapable to doing anything right.
Forever alone.
So what am i gonna do ?
Kill myself so that i can be free from all these shits ?

Nope.
I'm not that stupid.
My life continues no matter how bad it gets.
It doesn't ends here just because odds are never in my favour.
Cuz i believe, one day it will.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Last Christmas

Heyy.

Here to blog about how i spent my Christmas.

Honestly, i'm not that type who thinks Christmas is a big deal.

Cuz my family doesn't celebrate anything except CNY.

Lol yes, that's why Christmas is like a normal day for me.

That's why i even went to work on CHRISTMAS.

ROFL, holy shit. Pls don't mistake me as that kind of hardcore person.

Since i don't have any eventful plans on Christmas, why not work to earn $$$?

Ended up, i spent my Christmas in Magnum. #well #done

At least i'm not alone, HAHA

Well as for my Christmas Eve, it's much more interesting.
Celebrated Yihan's bdae @ Marina Barrage!
Thank god that it didn't rain, otherwise our plans will be ruined.
Had our mini "pot luck" session and self-entertained ourselves
with

Flying kite ;

Apparently, our kite made it so high that it eventually flew away.

LOL, my $20 kite ...

The only one and solo picture of my poor kite.

Witnessing the sunset and admiring the scenery ;

-Day-

-Night-

FYI- Ideal place for couples to visit and spend the night here.
Trust me, the scenery is unbeatable gorgeous.
If there is a chance, i will definitely visit here with my future bf HAH.