Tears of sadness

“there are two types of people in the world: those who prefer to be sad among others, and those who prefer to be sad alone.” - Nicole Krauss

And i belong to the second type. 

I may appear to be cheerful but nobody knows the reason behind every smile.

Fake or Real; neither of it matters.

Because i will never ever show my weak side.

Can't remember when was the last time i ever felt so sad.

But i'm pretty sure that Yesterday was a disaster for me.

Why?

It was my result day and to my dismay;

I'd never felt so depressed in my whole life.

It's not the truth that killed me. Expectations did.

I told people that "I really want to get into Director's list so badly this time round"

In all honesty, deep inside my heart- i expected myself to get into Director's.

When reality hits me like a bullet train, i was at rock bottom. 

It happened too sudden and i was totally taken aback. 

Who am i to blame? Myself.

For being too over-confident that what i did, was enough.

For over-estimating myself that i will do better

For being too complacent when i thought i'm humble enough.

Laugh at me.

Cause i feel like i'm a total joke.

Do you know the highest level of sadness?

It's not about the amount of tears you've wasted from crying.

There comes a point when you feel that even crying doesn't help.

Nothing you do could overcome the sadness so you just stoned there.

With numbness throughout my body, choked with nothing but tears. 

Whatever the case, there's nothing i could change. 

My result is still the same, disappointing ever. 

So the only comfort is to be accustomed to the fact that -

Sometimes, giving your best doesn't mean that you will get your desired result.

Hence, the moral of the story is don't expect anything. 

Don't forget -The higher you expect, the greater you fall. 

Cherish

Just a General question,
"Would you want an opposite gender text buddy while being attached?"
(excluding best friends from opposite sex)

If your answer is yes, you may click the "X" button at the top right hand corner.



Here's a scenario
For example,you know that Mr ... is  attached with XXXX for 2 years.
And one day, he started texting you asking retarded questions like
"What are you doing/ Have you eaten? "
(Please don't tell me he is just trying to be friendly) -.-



Well, maybe this might not be a big deal for some of you.
For me, it does.
If not, why am i wasting my time to blog about this?



Honestly, i'm utterly amused by his actions.
Like what the fuck, shouldn't you be only interested in your partner's life?
WHY DID YOU START CARING ABOUT OTHERS' LIFE?
Chit-chatting with other girls behind your gf's back, #GOOD JOB BRO.
Moreover, i really pity his gf as she HAS ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE ABOUT IT.
I'm just so close to saying "FUCK OFF" to him but i relented.
Frankly speaking, i really don't get why he is doing this. LIKE SERIOUSLY.
For me, i couldn't accept this kind of "cheating"
Cuz i know that "What goes around, comes around"
Let's say, if you manage to win his heart and he forsakes her because of you.
Don't you think he will do the exact thing to you like what he did to his ex?
Think about it.
And in case you dk, that's called K-A-R-M-A 



Frankly speaking, i did confessed before that i feel lonely sometimes
(whenever sweet couples are all over the place and I have no one)
However, I'M NOT DESPERATE -___________-
There are so many guys out there and you have to choose attached ones. Siao or what?
Please don't tell me that "DOESN'T MEAN THERE'S A GOALKEEPER= YOU CAN'T SCORE"
Well , i really admire your tenacious character but you must be crazy.
My point is no matter how lonely i might be, taken guys are just out of my list.
Because for me, LOYALTY & TRUST deserve the top criteria in a relationship.
Without loyalty, without trust, my advice is :Don't get attached la pls.


Anyway, just wanna make things clear,
This is just a platform for me to express my feelings and that's it.
I hope i'm not being too judgmental and aint expecting everyone to agree with me.




//Be contented of what you have
 Don't wait till you lose it then you start to cherish it.
 Because, sometimes, there might not be a second chance. \\

Worlds Apart

 HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.
Went for a picnic date with my dear poly clique (:
It's been a long time since we spent some quality time together.
Hehe, glad that this outing turned out awesomely great and fun!!!!
Though i'm like a charcoal now, everything is worth it haha :D
Well, i swear i have never experience sun burnt before,
















Stupidly thinking that my skin is thick/strong enough to withstand the sun.
I proudly claimed that "I don't need any sunblock"
Looks like i'm so so so wrong cause
This is the aftermath of being under the sun from 10 to 4.
Please give me a roaring applause for being so stupid .
In addition to the extreme hot weather nowadays, you can imagine how tanned i am now.
I really dunno i should cry or laugh at my skin colour LOL.
Alright, kk stop ranting haha *self-to-note*


Basically, we had a pot luck lunch by bringing self-made food individually.
And i had to admit that "ALL OF US COULD BE SUCCESSFUL CHEFS"
HAHAHAAHAH self-praise *OPS*
Moreover, we had games like Charade, Taboo, Jenga to accompany us for the day!
DAEBAK :D

P-I-C-T-U-R-E-S 

 

Love my wig, HAHA just kidding~ 

One absolute reason why i don't want to remove my shades.

OH GOD, CAN YOU EVEN SEE MY EYES?!!?!?? 

Love this group photo the most!!! (:
Hey, i know the scenery is beautiful but please don't be distracted,
We're the limelight HAHAH :P

 With Felicia and Shi Xian on the other day .
Went for a late night movie date -Non stop @ Town

Bye! 

My ideal type

Previously, I've promised to blog about my ideal type.

Today, i will be mentioning some of the traits of what i look for in a guy.

          1. Handsome but dumb/ Smart but ugly?
Idk how many people might choose the first option but i will definitely choose the second one.
When i was younger, i always thought that looks is the most important.
But actually, i'm utterly wrong. Looks doesn't mean everything.
If you have the looks but brainless, nah i wouldn't choose you.
Cuz honestly, i admit that i'm quite a dumb person ...
So i wouldn't like the idea of my partner being as dumb as me HAHAHA


         2. Kind-hearted (BONUS POINT)
I feel that no matter how perfect the person might be,
Without a good heart ; he/she is counted as nothing.
So what i look for in a guy ; is not only his character but heart too.
For example : 1) having a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune;
2) Offering to do something to alleviate their suffering ;
3) Giving your utmost best to help someone even if it's a stranger ;
Not only it portrays his kindness but selflessness too .
Tell me, who doesn't want a guy like this?



      3. Charismatic/ Handsome ?
Yes we all see/judge according to appearance, isn't it?
But i will choose Charismatic instead of Handsome.
What do i mean by charismatic?
The person doesn't need to be handsome but there is a certain factor that makes him attractive.
He sort of possesses some "charm" that makes him special and different.
Whereas handsome- is mainly talking about his outer appearance which is insignificant at all.


      4. Gentleman-like
I guess this is one of the most common traits that all girls would wish for.
Likewise for me, this trait is essential for my ideal type.
For me, those who didn't possess this trait is an ultimate turn-off .
Totally couldn't tolerate guys who insist of fighting with ladies over stuffs.
Lol if i happened to meet a guy like this; i will tell him to be a girl instead #no #joke



      5. Humorous / Cheerful?
There's an issue about being humorous and humorous wannabe.
Yeaa, i TRIED to be humorous but i had to admit that i suck at it.
Don't you find it amazing when some people could be effortlessly funny?!
Like when they said something "EVERYBODY ROARED INTO LAUGHTER"
Totally different from the response i got when i tried this, lol.
Thus, i feel that being humorous could really make someone's day (:


       6. Decisive
If you're a frequent reader of my blog entries, you will know that I've always emphasize this :
"YOU DECIDE YOUR OWN FUTURE" (sounds familiar, isn't it?)
Everybody has a mind of it's own and nobody unless YOU, can control it 
Therefore, you need to have a strong mindset and know what you're doing.
Moreover, being decisive also shows that you're trustable in your own judgement;
meaning that you wouldn't be swayed easily by other influences.
Isn't that great to find someone who has a mind of it's own? LOL a bit YDS.




        7. Romantic? 
As you know, i'm totally not a fan of romance movies.
The chances of watching a romance movie and falling asleep is like 99%
Haha, that's why i wouldn't even dare to dream that my ideal type would be Romantic.
Actually a part of me wishes that he is not, hahahha ops.
Honestly, don't you find those honeyed words are only a fallacy?
Because i do.

                                                               So this prolly sums up how my ideal type is.

Nevertheless, i'm prepared that my future bf wouldn't possesses these traits.

Cause it's normally the opposite of what you hope for. 

Hence, i will be REAL thankful if he could portray at least one of these HAHA

Anyway to end this post, I've one last thing to say

Yes, it's true that everybody sees the looks first instead of the heart

No matter how much he/she denies , how can you believe that it's not the case?

                                         Needless to say, looks is the one that attracts most of us,

But character is the one that makes us stay...

SO

Instead of feeling inferior of being ugly, why not start with 

A  good character that captures people's hearts rather than attention? 

Don't forget that attention is a temporary phase while heart stays with you forever

(: 

EGGcited

Hey!

I'M SO OVER THE MOON THAT MY EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER.

Looking forward to the arrival of each day cause IT'S HOLIDAYS :D

Moreover, those coming events thrilled me even more. TEEHEE

• Squash competition 
•  Taiwan trip
• Hair makeover

So tell me how can i not LOVE holidays? HOHOHO

Call me sick but honestly, i can't wait to get back my exam results.

Really hope i can achieve my aim this time, I WORKED SO HARD FOR IT:'(

Couldn't believe i'm turning year 2 already! How time flies!

As we have to choose our own specializations, there will be a change of class.

So yea, a little part of me was a little sad/happy/excited/worried.

Hahaha totally having mixed feelings which i couldn't describe any further.

When nostalgia hits me, i questioned myself "Why didn't i study this hard during O'levels"

I swear I've never been so hardworking in my entire life,

Not until when I reach poly.

It's like i became a totally changed person after i came to poly.

What changed me? 

People? Environment?

Nope, the answer is Changes.

Think about it and you will get what i mean.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, i realised i don't have a proper update of how i spent my Valentine's.

Basically, i have not only 1 but 3 Valentines' partner with me #player #alert

Decided not to head to town cuz we know IT WILL FLOODED WITH COUPLES.

Hahahah, so Clarke Quay looks cool enough for #singles

As all of us were not good @ directions, venturing/exploring turns out to be the only alternative.

Finally, we bumped into TIMBRE, OMG BEST IDEAL PLACE TO CHILL.

However, it's fully booked ARGHHH , life sucks. 

So we head to Liang Court for dinner and stayed later for sight-seeing at the riverside 

Nevertheless, it was a well-spent day with them <3 i="">

My Valentines' partners ^^ 

The other day~ (With my lovely squash peeps)

kay byez! 

Are you ready to fall in love again?

Randomly enough, a weird question popped into my head today. 

"Are you ready to fall in love again? "

Honestly, i feel envious of seeing sweet couples everywhere.

Unknowingly missing the attached life i used to have (somehow),

Feeling lonely when i'm alone out there,

Getting teased by people of being #forever #alone,

Seeing many friends getting attached while i'm all alone. 

Despite all these, I still couldn't decide a "Yes"

Previously, I realised I've been pushing myself away from a lot of people.

Once i knew that something is up, out i go.

I had no idea why i'm acting up like this.

Am i running away? Am i avoiding ? Am i being a coward?

Yes, i think i am lol.

# true #confession 

What's supposed to heal, time heal it all .

I am perfectly fine now, but ready? Not yet hahaha 

Thinking again, when will i ever be ready?

And guess what .

It's no biggie but I'M TOTALLY FINE WITHOUT A TEXT BUDDY.

Why???

Because it's annoying to have one, isn't it?

Unless you're texting someone you like, obviously you wouldn't mind.

If not, i feel like i'm just entertaining them which ain't fun.

And thinking of what to reply is a big headache.

So normally, i chose not replying over replying something stupid.

It's funny because a lot of girls love getting "Good morning/night" texts 

as they find them DAMN freaking sweet.

And i'm like, "who cares? I don't need that" Hah

So yup, i'm a weird person who doesn't need any text buddy basically.

Moreover, i don't wanna be hooked up with my phone.

Meaning using my phone for 24/7 , it's real pathetic. 

I need a real life, not a life being a keyboard warrior . 

PS : Don't mind cuz i'm just sharing my random thoughts. 

Hahah okay i shall stop here, Bye!!!