2016 PLAN

Late night thoughts again...

I'm just so glad that i didn't delete my blog despite leaving it to rot for so long.

Because it is a perfect platform for me to write out my true feelings & trace my thoughts.

After contemplating for ages, I've finally decided what i want.

I know it's still early to make plans for the future.

But i really can't wait to pen down the thoughts I've in mind right now.

For these past 2 years, I've been giving my best in everything i do.

Be it driving or studying.

Trust me, I've never been so serious in my entire life.

And today,

I asked myself this question 

"Why am i slogging so hard for?"

Initially, my aim was "I want to enter local university and attain a degree at least"

Because it's clearly the fact that:

In Singapore, you cannot go anywhere without a degree.

And i regret to mention that I was not born from a wealthy family as well.

That's why i was so scared that if i didn't enter university, my future will be bleak.

The most common question asked by many was :

"What do you want to do in the future?"

In my business school, most of them replied " I want to be an entrepreneur"

It's rather admiring of course but sadly, I've no interest.

My answer would be rather straightforward- I want to be a property agent in the future.

Which led to my next point :

Why do you need a degree when you're going for the sales industry?

Isn't it good enough if you are a silver tongued speaker?

At first, i thought that being outspoken and talkative would be able to make it.

But nope, you have to be eloquent enough in order to convince your customers.

If you speak like a kid aimlessly, you can never clinch the deal.

So for the sake of my future,

I've thought of 3 things that i wanted to do.

1. IMPROVE MY ENGLISH

Idk how many times I've mentioned this on my blog, my English is still unacceptable.

So i want to change the way i speak, of course to a more profound way

Starting from now.

I don't want to waste time regretting why i did not fix my English when i have the chance to.

Lai chien qin, there's no time for contemplation.

It's either you do it now or just forget about it and continue to be a country bumpkin.

2. Make it to local university

Yes, I've mentioned this before too.

To be honest, my current GPA is only 3.47

Well, this GPA is even worse than my first sem which was 3.5

No matter how hard i tried, i just can't seem to increase my GPA

How am i gonna make it to local uni when my current GPA is only like this?

And i'm only left with the last sem to pull up my grades 

Do you honestly think it's possible?

So I've thought about it.

Yes, i'm referring to my future.

It's time to face the reality and be prepared for the worst.

If i couldn't make it to local university, I'm not gonna choose SIM straightaway.

Sorry, I've never had a good impression of SIM honestly.

3. Apply for SIA- to become an air stewardess.

I know this aspiration is a bit far fetched and people might even think i'm joking or whatever.

But i'm serious.

Since I'm not born to be good at anything, this is a good opportunity to try something new.

I really wanted to try ...

Despite all the rumors and difficulties I've heard, I'm still going to try. (no matter what)

But if i fail, i'm gonna apply for SIM or i would join the work society.

Nothing brings you down if you become your own inspiration.

So that's the aim i'm going for. 

So, that concludes my 2016 PLAN which will only commences after my graduation.

Which i'm left with exactly 1 more year before I've to make a tough decision.

Till then, bye

All OR Nothing

Hi. 
It's been 3 months since i left my blog dead
And FYI; it's my longest period..
Idk why but the reason why is because I've lost the motivation of blogging.
Since nobody bothers to read it anyways.
Hahah but i still blog for the sake of memories.
I want to blog about my current life so that,
in the near future, (when i'm bored) ; i will look through and thought "Oh i did this when i was 16"
Hah, it's kind lame but it would be meaningful as the time goes.
Because you will never be able to keep track of time.
You can wait for the time to pass but Time don't stop just because you want it to.
So in short, the world don't revolve around You .
Life goes on no matter what...


When you were young, you genuinely wished to be older .
But when you were older, you wanted to be young so badly.
Sadly; life is full of irony and you have to live with it.
I just couldn't believe that I'll be turning 20 this year.
And i thought to myself " What have I accomplished over the past 20 years?"
People would be like, oh that's easy .
[I've achieved 1st place for academic results when I was p5]
And as for me?
N
O
T
H
I
N
G

Yes, nothing (for now)
So i made a pact to myself when i was 16.
I told myself that i will earn my first $10k before i reach 21; all by myself.
That explains totally why i am working like a sloth not because i want to;
Note: There's a difference of want / must
As my family's tradition is all about being independent; can you choose not to work?
Hah, come to think of it- I've been taking 2 jobs ever since i entered poly.
And maybe, I'm turning to a workaholic whom i never knew i would become.


Today,
I've received my academic results.
And i got a shock of my life due to NYP's personal message.
Little did i know, NYP eventually sent a text to my phone to inform my grades.
Well, i didn't expect them to lend a helping hand when i don't need it LOL
Seriously, I almost died of a broken heart when i saw a C in my grade.
Well apparently, the module was not graded so i don't understand why NYP has to include in it-.-
Honestly, i had high hopes for this sem's results.
And yup, it wasn't the best i foresee but at least, there's an improvement.
Just in short, i'm still disappointed...
Blame it on my overconfidence or complacency, yea the feeling sucks.
Like the feeling that you thought you can ACE it and boom, HAH YOU CAN'T GET IT.
So i tell myself as a reminder,
I will do even better for my last sem.
For the sake of myself
For the sake of my future
I will work extra harder this time.
Say goodbye to my complacency, laziness
I'm giving out ALL or nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


LAI CHIEN QIN;
YOU
CAN
DO
IT

Sorry i need this self- encouragement to salvage my broken heart.
Don't mind me,
Till then :)

Happy tears

This was my actual 3am thoughts few days ago.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


How can i have the mood for any celebration?
I really hate how stupid I am.
Since young, i was never good at anything.
I've neither talents nor good brains and basically I've nothing to be proud of.
As much as i hated myself for being so useless, i still have that small glimpse of hope.
Maybe, one day i can find something that i'm good at.
Because i disbelieve that "Nobody is good at nothing"
It's just a matter of time of when you will find it.


Have you ever felt this way before?
Of giving your utmost best but not receiving the result you desired?
I swear that is the most heartbreaking feeling on earth.
Reproaching yourself "what went wrong?" but you can't seem to understand why.
After you experienced once before, you will be like :
"Hell yeah, i'm gonna fuck this"
At the end, you still decided to try it again.
And you failed again.
But you just wanna try again even knowing the consequence;
that taking it will make your life more difficult.
Each time you fall, you tell yourself that "You will stand up and become more stronger"
Yea right, easier said than done.
Albert Einstein tried a hundredth times but he didn't give up.
But i'm not him, i'm a loser who can't afford to take failures so many times.
I wish i can just give up everything and say "I QUIT"
Because i know obviously that would make my life way easier.
I had enough of fretting over this stupid driving test when i don't even have a car to drive.
What's the point of taking it?
What's the point of spending so much on it ?
And i don't even understand what's the point of ranting all these shit.
Then again, i thought of my dad.
The one who wishes so badly for me to get a driving license.
The one who treats my driving license as though it's a glory.
The one who don't mind spending his hard-earned money like free flow
Simply just because he wanted me to learn this fucked up complicated driving.
I really wanted to give up so badly but i don't have the heart to crash my dad's hopes.


Life is just full of crap.
It's either you break your heart or his.

And trust me, the more times you take it ;
THE MORE STRESSED YOU WILL BE.
Yea you might be feeling more confident (at first)
But reality hits you real hard when you realised how much you spent.
Regardless of how unwilling you wanna spend, you still have to.




All of my driving instructors told me the same thing :
"You have the skills, all you need is Confidence"
Hell yea, I've everything except Confidence.
Especially when it comes to driving because EVERYTHING IS SO FUCKED UP.
It's like they expect you to figure out how experienced drivers think.
And some assholes drivers think that they are so fucking great- find signalling as a chore.
Which like wts, how you expect us to know where they are going when they don't signal?
Logic?!
When i think i'm right, i ended up being wrong.
When i think i'm wrong, my decision turned out to be right
Like seriously... How do you expect me to believe in myself?
Lol

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry for taking such a long time just to rant about driving.
I promise it's my last hahah 
Because i really couldn't take it .
Taking driving really mind-fucked me so so so badly...
There're so many times when i will just break down all of a sudden.
I swear the stress is really 3 times more than taking your O's
Excluding the fact that i'm an ultimate slow-learner with motion sickness syndrome
This is the first time I've ever been so serious in my whole entire life



AND
GUESS
WHAT





I FUCKING DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really couldn't believe it :')
I didn't know MIRACLE ACTUALLY DO HAPPENS.
I'm so over the moon that i feel like i could die without regrets.
My first try was 32 points.
Second try was 46 points



MY 3RD TRY :D



Nevertheless, i wanna thank my devoted instructor(s) who never gave up on me.
And my most patient instructor who kept telling me “不要心急，慢慢来"
Without them, i bet i really couldn't survive throughout this ordeal.
I also believe that driving test also requires a bit of luck.
So so so thankful that the tester i got is GOD DAMN FRIENDLY.
(Y)
MY HAPPIEST DAY IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!!!!!!!
Because i finally achieved something that i can really be proud of ^^ 

Life is good ~

Fall

Hello readers.

I'm here to save my half dead/dead blog hahaha.

Well as you can see, i'm blogging less and less often.

And i can only think of one reason.

N-O-T-I-M-E

Can you believe that half of the school term is coming to an end?!?!!

When it felt like school just started only the day before.

Now i fully understand why the older you get, the lesser time you have.

Still rmb how i used to yearn for the arrival of holidays when i was in year 1.

But now...

 In a blink of an eye; Holidays is just round the corner.

And guess what? There's no time for you to enjoy

EVEN IF it's HOLIDAYS -.-

Because in one month's time, I've to start preparing for final exams.

But THANK GOD that my exams falls before new year's.

If not, i really dk how i'm gonna survive this dreadful ordeal..

Of bringing your books along while going house visiting ? 

OMG THAT'S PATHETIC MAN..

As the saying goes,

"The higher you climb, the harder you fall"

Honestly, i'm really afraid.

I really don't want to fall.

Cause i know the moment i fall, there's no turning back.

I can't get back to the same as before...

Tell me what i should do.

4am thoughts

I hate it when i know things have changed but i can't do anything about it. Well, the only thing i can do is to suck it up. Or a better phrase would be: Embrace the change. I've learnt to accept that losing people is part and parcel of life. Enough of the unwillingness. Enough of the sulkiness. Enough of the unhappiness. You can't have the best of both worlds. Sometimes, giving up for one might be the only choice. 

"All people come into our lives for a reason. It may be for seconds, months, years or a lifetime. Each of these has a specific task to complete within our lives. Once their task is complete, they will leave our lives, whether we will it or no. Sometimes the leaving is through the grave, sometimes with a wave and sometimes with nary a whisper.” -SS Lengel

It's the same theory- Holding onto something that don't belong to yours, it's just a matter of time that it will leave you eventually.. What's meant to be yours, will be yours. Sometimes, you just have to learn to let go of things that don't belong to you.  This is life. No matter how unwilling you are, no matter how upset you would be, you still have to let go.

//

Honestly, i really wished I've lesser commitments.

I'm always so busy that i don't even have the time to catch my breath.

Seems like 24h in a day is absolutely not enough for me.

I'm barely grasping for air. No kidding.

I've so so so much things to cope with and I'm lost.

I don't know how to set my priorities right.

It feels like every decision you make might affect the other party.

I hate this suffocated feeling.

How i wish i can do whatever i want without considering others' feelings.

Yes i know it's selfish to do that.

But i'm tired.

Real tired...

The Right One

Hello, i'm back to blog about my 4th post.
And I know I took AGES to come up with this post, OPS my bad.
But good things come to those who wait, right? HAHA
As I've said before, this will be a special one.
Needless to say, you should know who's the protagonist today (:

Well, after my last breakup; I've completely given up on this game called Love
I've never thought that i would find someone again.
And finding you, makes me feel like I'm the luckiest person on earth.



I guess people whom hadn't experience this before might laugh at me.
I don't blame you cause i laughed once before.
At first, my best friend met one guy and she was telling me;
how well they hit it off 
how much they think alike
how perfect they are for each other
(when they only got closer for less than 1 month)
Honestly, i scoffed right after i heard about it.
At that point of time, i couldn't believe what i heard.
Thinking to myself, everything was just BULLSHITS!
Well, not until the same scenario actually happened to me too.
Then i realised the least unexpected thing always happens when you disbelieve it.



Starting from how we met is amusing enough.
Honestly, i can't believe i'm typing this out.
It feels like i'm writing a love story instead.
I knew his presence a year ago from a mutual friend and
Yea of course, i find him not bad-looking and that's it..
The funny thing is he actually knew about my presence too.
Then something real ridiculous happened.
I brainlessly thought that he was a smoker and even told some of my classmates.
Yea idk wtf i'm thinking to be spreading this to the whole world -.-
Little did i knew, i actually misunderstood him. Oh crap, i'm dead...
But what's done cannot be undone.
Since we are strangers, the shameless me tried to act like nothing happened.
Is heaven playing a joke on me? 
We happened to be in the same class for 1 module, OH MY GOD.
Honestly, i never saw this coming and trust me;
if I've a weak heart, i might probably die of heart attack.
Yes, tell me how am i going to face someone whom I've framed?
Badmouthing someone is bad, badmouthing smth that wasn't true is worse;
And smearing someone's reputation is beyond incorrigible. 
The main feeling that overtook me was Guilt.
I knew clearly that i owe him an apology because i know sooner or later, he will find out.
I mean, you couldn't hide secrets forever.
And obviously, he would be thinking " Why this mad stranger is spreading bad stuff about me?"
The coward me thought of many ways to tell him but failed anyway.

SO...

Days have passed,

Weeks have passed,

Months have passed,

I'm still unable to muster up my courage.
Not until one day, we talked for the first time during a lunch meeting.
So i took this perfect opportunity to come clean what i did.
Frankly speaking, if a random stranger/new fren runs up to you and tells you that
 "I actually told people that you are a smoker because i thought you were"
My reaction would be this :



Well, he is kind enough not to give the reaction that i might have given.
In fact, he accepted my apology in half confusion which was understandable. HAHAH.
During the meal, we chatted as per normal and thought to myself :
"Well, he is quite a good chap"
-End of story-
No la just kidding.. ( 2 months later...)
In class, he approached me and we talked continuously for almost an hour.
This is crazy cause we just talked about anything and everything.
And what, at that point of time; we barely knew each other?
Even up till now, i still find everything amazingly unbelievable.

So what's the main reason why i think he's the right one?

It might sound cliche but i swear he's the first whom i can connect my heart with...

And what lies beneath is the astonishing telepathy between us.

This is something that not all the couples could achieve that but we can.

I like how the way;
we give each other death stares; wanting the other to give in,
we can read each other's mind like an open book
we argue but laugh at the same time (so is that considered a quarrel?)
we can talk about everything without hiding secrets,
our impromptu h2h talks that always happened in the middle of the night,
having that connection that no one could have,


And i'm real lucky to have you in my life.
Even if it's just a short period, it doesn't matter.
Cause all i want is you to be happy and i will too :')



Thanks for loving me the same despite my imperfections. 
I still can't believe that i only know you for 3 months.
It really seems like I've known you WAY much longer.
Regardless of how much i wrote, it's never enough to express how i truly feel about you.
But one thing i'm certain is that - I can never find someone like you. 

Believe in 

YOU, ME and US

 that we could beat the odds :)

(Even the Ocean, cheh kidding)

PS: Please don't die of diabetes after reading this whole chunk of LOVE-OBSESSED post hahaha.

-

Hello guys.

Well finally, my TIMETABLE is out (OH YEA baby)

Had been waiting for it since ages and i guess everything is worth the wait!

Simply love this sem's timetable, way too awesome :')

If you dk how fortunate i'm, i shall take this time to (yknow) show off a bit.

YAY to no school on Friday, THAT'S WHY IT'S #TGIF

So it's considered having 3 days of holiday every weekend

My life can't be any perfect than this :') 

Shall take this ideal opportunity to work on Friday and earn some $$$.

Finally, I've received 2 pay cheques today which doubled my happiness ^^

Though both add up to less than $300, well at least i'm finally getting some pay.

For this holiday, i just hope that i could retain my savings. (instead of depleting)

Nothing more to ask for, honestly. *finger cross*

Although i kept thinking that i didn't work much for this holiday, I realised I've taken up

5

freaking

jobs

It's a MAJOR wow cause it's my highest record.

Hahaha thinking of just committing to 1 when school starts.

As promised, my #3 post is about JURONG BIRD PARK.

A post celebration with my longest best friend; LIM YI HAN ^^

Note: DON'T VISIT THERE UNLESS YOU'RE A FAN OF BIRDS.
If not, you would certainly end up like us.
Taking photos of ourselves more than the birds, HAHAH what a joke.
If you don't believe me, you can look through all my photos.
It's like only 3/4 of the photos we took are simply US :D
And ohh, please please remember to take their given map.
Because obviously there's no tour guide and don't forget,
the people there are as lost as you! LOL

Some photos taken during the bird show! 

A random selfie, pardon my cui eyes. 

 Yihan's darlings, HAHAAH 

Spot some similarities? ;) 

Don't you think they look like fake statues? 

Hahahah my face needs to mantain

"OPEN SESAME" 

My favourite penguins :D 

Hahaha my constipated look.

Before i end off, I guess i owe you a basic update?

Well, just a short update since i'm gonna hit the sack soon anyways.

Recently, i'm GOD DAMN BUSY .

Had been working like a maniac for the past 2 weeks and this job is really tough.

Having to stand up to 10h per day but getting paid for only $7/hour;

Honestly i wouldn't do it, if not for my friends companion.

The only good thing is time really passes so fast that you didn't even notice.

But oh wellz, it's a good opportunity to train myself too HAHAH.

I guess my most lepak job for this holiday is the acting job ($25/hour)

Real easy $$$ though it gets boring at times.

In short, i'm fully packed almost everyday so i feel sorry for my family the most.

It's like so ironic when holiday is the best time for people to lepak at home.

Well for me, I'm hardly at home unless it's sleeping time LOL.

It's understandable too since my parents didn't give me any allowance throughout this holiday; 

Thus, I've to fend for myself by finding my own $$$ source, right?

Thankful that i still have my 1 day break which is SUNDAY-unchangeable family day (:

If not, how am i going to survive in this tough working lifestyle? hahaha

Without my friends, i'm pretty sure i couldn't survive this boring ordeal.

So of course, crediting them is a must ^^

All the photos are taken from Eugene's new Iphone6 ;

Take a closer look and judge how good the quality is!

If I've a chance to choose between Samsung and Apple again,

I would certainly ,definitely, absolutely choose

APPLE (Y)   

That awkward moment when you couldn't hide your double chin. 

 

Kudos to my 2 pretty ladies ^-^ 

EUGENE YONG, THANKS for being such an awesome BEST friend ^^

I'm so happy/lucky to have you as my one and only guy best friend.

You're the first guy whom i really trust and cheers to many years of our friendship okie!

:) 

PS: Stay tuned to my #4 post because it will be a special one :)