Bitter Sweet Love

Love can be sweet,

But it can be fatal too.

Having 4 mths as my longest relationship, 

Yes; you wouldn't believe that i would have fallen in love.

But i did.

The period when i'm in love is i felt like i'm in seventh heaven.

And when it's over, i felt like I've entered nowhere but hell.

I believe you've heard everything about what I've gone through (if you're a loyal reader)

So i'm not gonna repeat my old history.

Why am i here to talk about this again? 

(FYI- I'm over my ex hahaha in case ppl thought i'm not) 

To be honest, ever since i came to poly; I told myself that

"I'm gonna find a boyfriend who must be way better than my ex"

So you can call me desperate or what, i really wanted to find one.

Part of me was because i want to show that i could, another culprit was emptiness.

And if you know "lao tian" well enough, you should know

"When you desire, you can't have it. When you don't, you have it"

As much as i want to find a partner so badly, i couldn't.

Why?

Because my thinking is just so wrong and immature.

Love don't work this way as it always appear when you least expected. 

So what for, try so hard to find your true love? 

Before i proclaim that i really like anyone, I've to make sure that i know him well.

Falling for his outer appearance or anything, no it don't work for me anymore.

Right now, most importantly, is a heart which i can connect with. Nothing else. 

In order not to let history repeats itself,

I'm going to be patient and wait till i find the right one.

No point accepting the wrong ones, ended up with more heartbreaks.

It's already unbearable that my heart broke once.

Even though it's fixed now, there are still scratches.

It's no longer the same flawless heart..

In fact, i'm kinda afraid of falling in love.

It's not easy especially people like me to be able to open my heart again.

"If it's meant to be yours, it will be"

Lesson learnt :

This is what i feel, whether you believe or not.

Yes, feelings matters the most in a relationship.

Nonetheless, compatibility actually takes up a big role too.

In fact, i honestly feel that it is more important than feelings.

What's the point of liking when you couldn't click with the other half?

Imagine trying to kick start a conv. every single day, wouldn't you be tired someday?

Do you think you can last?

Or should i say, how long will your feelings last?

That's when you will know whether he/she is your right one.

Time will show who is the right one...

Don't expect, don't think, don't yearn.

Just wait ..