My life is just so screwed
The older i get, the more i yearn to be alone.
When i was young, the only thing i hate is being alone.
Whenever i am sad, i expect someone to comfort me like a baby.
"Hugging me and telling me it's gonna be okay "
But now, I've totally changed.
When i am sad, i just wish to be alone.
I don't need to seek anyone for comfort but just suffer silently.
Call me stubborn or what but i just feel this way.
"What's the point of sharing my pain when i know that they will never understand how i feel? "
That stupid selfish brainless decision that i have made.
That led to so much hurt I've caused to someone.
But i'm too blind over love that i didn't notice her hurt.
Until when i realise that i'm in the wrong, it's all too late.
"We are no longer going to be the same anymore"
I tried to salvage it but it didn't work.
Tearing apart because it wasn't supposed to end like this.
If i am able to foresee this ending, trust me...
I wouldn't make that decision
Everything is my fault cause i'm the one that started this.
But, i have no idea how to salvage this.
Hence, i'm being a coward now because i don't know how to face all these.
I wish someone can enlighten me and tell me what to do.
I'm really clueless ..
I know the only way to salvage this is "Be truthful"
Easier said than done
This is what i think.
I really find myself changing after the ...
It's like i feel that i'm no longer the same me anymore.
Why has this affected me so so so much?
My mind is filled with an avalanche of questions that really tires me.
I need a break from all this shit.
It's causing me too much hurt, too much sorrows.
When is this going to end?
Honestly, i had no idea.
I need a pill that can make me forget everything.
No matter it is good/bad memories, i just don't want/need it anymore.
Cause it's just so meaningless and redundant now.
Feel so weak everytime when the memories hit back, fml.
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