No faith

Though it's kinda late, I wanna take this chance to welcome 

The Arrival Of September (:

As usual, it has always been my favourite month of the year. 

Simply because my birthday falls on this month and I'm proud to be a #Virgo

Well but for this year (2014), it's certainly different.

I know that my 19th birthday ain't gonna be easy.

Having mixed feelings right now especially when i'm left with 5 days more

To my special day

And also, to my TRAFFIC POLICE TEST.

Holy shit, TIME FLIES !!! 

Part of me is real excited to spend my day with my fav. person~

Come to think of it, I've always wanted to celebrate my bdae with someone i like.

And that wish never came true throughout these years.

Well , maybe it might be different this year? ;)

For once, i genuinely thought that this 19th would be da best.

But nope, the thought of taking TP test is good enough to send chills down my spine.

Honestly, i'm fucking scared right now. Yes no joke.

Nobody can understand this.

Hah, the stress doubled because it's either TEARS of joy/happiness 

Moreover, I've  already faced  enough stress from taking more lessons than usual.

41 > 25 (sessions). Yes, i'm not kidding.

My mind thought that I COULD but my heart said otherwise. 

Saying is easy, doing is hard.

I really wish i could be braver.

To overcome my fear and be confident.

Yea easier said than done.

I know that...

Drowning myself in the sea of negativity is really not the right time. 

Especially when i'm only left with 5 days :'(

But this is exactly what i'm feeling right now... 

Just the thought of entering the maze is 

making me to flee LIKE A COWARD

I'm really want to find my way out and pass with flying colours.

However, there are just TOO many obstacles all over the place.

And I've no single clue where to start from. 

 NOBODY could save me from this shit.

Except me.

As the days are getting nearer, i can feel my stomach churning like a bitch.

Feeling so powerless like a weakling.

And all i can think of it is all the possibilities that could add up to my final conclusion :

Whether i can make it or not... 

So do you think i can?